i'm moving.

Monday, May 01, 2006 @ 12:30 AM

i dont like to b snubbed
perhaps im destined to be the masked person
hiding my tears behind all my smiles
im tired of tears
im afraid
when i cant ctrl myself

if theres someone i could share whatevers inside me

i dont noe whats with me but i was just packing some of my things away into boxes, preparing to move home. 1st 2 boxes were okie, until i started to pack awae more personal stuff, messages, gifts, and u suddenli realise so mani things have passed, so mani ppl u have met, grown closer and the person actualli stands a place in ur heart cos u had heart to heart talks with, u had fun with, u had beautiful memories with. i suddenli realise tt n i started crying. a little deja-vu-ish cos juz read aili's blog and she was saying if she was a final year prob she'll pack n cry at the saem time. and now i see it happening to myself, but final yr i am not. onli 2 yrs. around 2 yrs, n im lidat.

as i un-blu-tack some of my decorations, i recall the times when the room was juz an empty shell, how i took pains to make it as homeli as i could. i din bring alot of things over, but as time passed, i gained more stuff that u see lying around, and some stuff that u carry in your heart and mind. there are still some notes tt i haven removed, cos they mean a f*eaking lot to me. i still have a few daes to go to my last paper. i still need them to feel at home.

morning msn w sn, she said im tough, tough for hiding my upset feelings and seeing the world as it is. mebe too much drama made me good at acting? or mebe im realli juz used to it. used to keeping things inside myself, theres no one person who noes everything. different people noe different things. upset? blog. write. compose. scream. i need to scream now. mebe im juz a tuft of grass at that unoticeable corner. i grow on my own, d*mn hardy, don attract attention, and i get trampled on. thats y im stil here.

i like your toothy smiles
i like your spiky hair
i like your smiling eyes

i like the way you talk about things that dont make sense
i like the way you tease
i like the way you make people smile

i like your neat handwriting
i like your simple smiley faces (cos you're not arty farty)
i like your little post its here and there

i like the way you put your heart and soul in things you do
i like you being a workaholic
i like you being serious in your work

i like your surprises
i like the way you talk to me
i like the way you play the guitar and sing

i like to see you tending to the plants
i like the way you're proud of your room
i like the way you make everyone feel like a family

i like the way you often go out of your way to help people
altho i dont really like you being 'spiderman'
and being stressed to the roots of your hair
or bring tired and falling asleep almost anywhere

i like you being a family man
i like you being a great friend
i like you loving yourself

someone else can come up to me and tell me he can do all this
but its just different
because
i love you

i like the way you smile
the way my hand in yours
if this way is probably wrong
i dont wanna be right
if you cant come to me
i can alwyz go to you
if i cant have all of you
just a little bit will do
>a little bit will do< mainworks (C)

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