Friday, June 24, 2005 @ 2:21 PM
been a long time since i've actualli had e time to sit n blog...oh well...hv lotsa thots in my brain yet haven been down to typing it down here...but i guess it wont do much help aniwae...*hmmmz*
ACID camp was a blast...had lotsa fun w those volunteers who went...den spent all my time w my dear angel seok hian...learnt more things abt her...i mean aft all this is my first camp w her..all e while onli take her during guilly sessions which r so short...got to noe tt she is afraid of those plastic tape...those alternating red n white stripes one...those tt they use to warn of danger...well...they used it at e camp...to delimit boundaries...den ah...i din noe she was afraid...so was shocked tt she started to cry...so after weifen told mi den i noe...apart fr tt she was okie la...my cute leetle gal...slp so soundli one...i slp beside her ma...perhaps last dae she was more difficult...mebe cos she was tired? den lk reluctant to join in e grp games....was trying hard to persuade her...felt abeet frustrated w myself at sometimes for not being able to get her to join in..mebe cos i was tired oso...den finalli she joined in den i was realli so relieved n felt muchmuch beta...=) gotta learn more abt handling children...but =heng= i nv lose my temper...else...i wil b even more disappointed w myself...
went out w my si ren bang yest! met at suntec kbox...sang fr 2+ to 7...k happy...had a great time belting out pop songs n songs of long ago...nv fail to hv fun in kbox...den aft tt we went for dinner at crytal jade...shared funni snippets abt stuff tt happened over our plates of noodles n mango pudding...too hungri liao forgot to tk pix tho...hee...thx gals: zhen lin n lynn...sorri for e 'interruptions' for zhen n lin...but glad tt u gals r doing well...hv to meet up more often b4 we all head for e bks agn...
juz feel kinda disappointed...kinda useless sometimes...mebe i cant handle disappointment well enuff...on e surface yep i look okie...but its STILL eating mi up on the inside...*gasp* *choke* wan to die areadi...drama chance goes =poof=...gotta settle w being a song writer...how i miss e stage...perhaps i juz s*** at drama...juz deluding myself...exam results s*** even worse...CAP average score of 3.4 onli...moe requirement is 3.5...1st sem was 3.8, this sem is onli 3!!! crappy results of Bs n Cs...2 geog modules one get highest one get lowest...n lit got a big FAT C+...
feel so crappy...but i noe everyone saes there's no need to b so caught up w them...but this is eating mi fr inside...degrading...deluding...disillusioned...
stuff myself w things to do...so i wont feel so empty...n wont feel so obsessed w my failureS...tuition everi mon n thurs morn...LITO on n off...still so mani not confirmed yet...guilly on sat...n meeting up w frens...
:brain being torn apart:
*holds up pathetic leetle hand n asks for help*
"so unlucky!"
blame it on urself, not on others...stop irritatin mi...
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